Yes, dear reader: you did read the headline correctly. The woman who was nearly vice president has quit her elected position without using the word “resigned” or even acknowledging that she is walking out on the people who elected her. In fact, the entire “letter” is couched in terms of “not seeking a second term,” which goes without saying since she couldn’t even finish the first one.
I chose to post the fulltext of the entire resignation letter because it is so rife with grammatical errors that there is virtually no way it won’t be redacted and edited. The closing line is just priceless: In the words of General MacArthur said, “We are not retreating. We are advancing in another direction.”
During this stream-of-consciousness, Palin sways violently from characterizing the United States as the “Outside” (spelled with a capital “O”) on the one hand, to proclaiming that her unique style of politics is just what the United States needs. While this will be interpreted by some as a precursor to her “inevitable” 2012 presidential bid, there is no mistaking the subtext: Palin is an Alaskan separatist who seeks secession from the Outside.
While it is true that quitting so long before the end of her term will spare her further exposure to the media (which she absolutely cannot withstand), this has to be one of the most shameful displays of leadership that any self-respecting representative could conjure up.
We all know that the electorate (A.K.A. the “unwashed masses”) are a fickle group who will have forgotten Palin after a few weeks’ time, so the most damnable part of this spectacle is that it probably would serve to provide a favorable position for Palin, compared to her ongoing humiliation as a public servant. The inescapable paradox lying within this strategy is that it would presumably be in anticipation of further public service, which would apparently be harmed by continuing to serve as Governor of Alaska.
Got that? In order to not harm her chances as a future public servant, she must quit her current position as a public servant in order to avoid fatally damaging her hypothetical presidential aspirations. We’re not talking about quitting on the school board, and we’re not talking about waiting out a difficult term in office. We’re talking about the Governor of Alaska — essentially on a whim — up and leaving office with nothing more than a few weeks notice.
…and she is announcing this in time for July 4th! Srsly, peeps: this isn’t a presidential bid. This reads more like a 4th grader’s stuttering, guilty, and evasive partial apology for getting caught in the act of cheating, then dropping out of school instead of studying for the next test. It’s shameful, but hardly unbelievable.
Hi Alaska, I appreciate speaking directly to you, the people I serve, as your Governor.
People who know me know that besides faith and family, nothing’s more important to me than our beloved Alaska. Serving her people is the greatest honor I could imagine.
I want Alaskans to grasp what can be in store for our state. We were purchased as a territory because a member of President Abe Lincoln’s cabinet, William Seward, providentially saw in this great land, vast riches, beauty, strategic placement on the globe, and opportunity. He boldly looked “North to the Future”. But he endured such ridicule and mocking for his vision for Alaska, remember the adversaries scoffed, calling this “Seward’s Folly”. Seward withstood such disdain as he chose the uncomfortable, unconventional, but right path to secure Alaska, so Alaska could help secure the United States.
People who know me know that besides faith and family, nothing’s more important to me than our beloved Alaska.
Alaska’s mission – to contribute to America. We’re strategic in the world as the air crossroads of the world, as a gatekeeper of the continent. Bold visionaries knew this – Alaska would be part of America’s great destiny.
Our destiny to be reached by responsibly developing our natural resources. This land, blessed with clean air, water, wildlife, minerals, and oil and gas. It’s energy! God gave us energy.
So to serve the state is a humbling responsibility, because I know in my soul that Alaska is of such import, for America’s security, in our very volatile world. And you know me by now, I promised even four years ago to show my independence… no more conventional “politics as usual”.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you: “The next stop along the slippery slope.” One of the first things to strike me when the United States began its terrorism craze was, “great – now that terrorism is double-super-illegal, we need to worry about what actions are defined as terrorism.” Well guess what? Your public servants are being trained to classify peaceful assembly as terrorism.
If I may quote from the amendments to the US Constitution:
“Amendment I. Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press, or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”
Regarding that last part – the part about assembly and petition? That’s terrorism. See, the reason you can’t protest anymore is that if you do, you’re an enemy of the state, and you’re not protected by the constitution if you’re not really a citizen. Isn’t that a clever way of getting around the constitution?
What? You have a problem with that? Well you certainly can’t protest about it. You want to disappear to Cuba and get tortured? I didn’t think so, citizen.
The Department of Defense is training all of its personnel in its current Antiterrorism and Force Protection Annual Refresher Training Course that political protest is “low-level terrorism.”
The Training introduction reads as follows:
“Anti-terrorism (AT) and Force Protection (FP) are two facets of the Department of Defense (DoD) Mission Assurance Program. It is DoD policy, as found in DoDI 2000.16, that the DoD Components and the DoD elements and personnel shall be protected from terrorist acts through a high pirority, comprehensive, AT program. The DoD’s AT program shall be all encompassing using an integrated systems approach.”
The first question of the Terrorism Threat Factors, “Knowledge Check 1″ section reads as follows:
Which of the following is an example of low-level terrorism activity?
Select the correct answer and then click Check Your Answer.
O Attacking the Pentagon
O Hate crimes against racial groups
The “correct” answer is Protests.
Okay – this is totally hilarious: politician makes dumb remark on twitter, entire country responds (also on twitter).
My contribution: @petehoekstra I got a little sunburned today. Now I know what Chernobyl must have been like.
I think the term for this is “LMAO-schadenfreude.”
Earlier today, Rep. Peter Hoekstra (R-MI) put up this astonishing post on Twitter, likening the oppression of the Iranian people to the plight of House Republicans:
Iranian twitter activity similar to what we did in House last year when Republicans were shut down in the House.
In the hours since, the Twitter community has responded — with massive heckling. Here’s just a small sample of some of the best ones:
ArjunJaikumar @petehoekstra i spilled some lukewarm coffee on myself just now, which is somewhat analogous to being boiled in oil
chrisbaskind @petehoekstra My neighbor stopped me to talk today. Now I know what it is like to be questioned by the Basij!
UPDATE: what have we here? Oh! Pete Hoekstra is now a meme.
Haha! Jim Henson apparently made proto-muppet commercials for a coffee company, and they are AMAZINGLY violent. A young kermit (Wilkins) keeps threatening or murdering Wontkins, all because Wontkins is unwilling to try this brand of coffee. Yes murder, including gangland-style execution by a disembodied hand, by cannon, by dynamite, and probably a few other ways in this short clip.
How is it, then, that it’s hilarious? I don’t know, but there you have it. Violence can be funny, if Jim Henson is behind it somehow.
From Super Punch:
In 1957, Jim Henson was approached by a Washington, D.C. coffee company to produce ads for Wilkins Coffee. The local stations only had ten seconds for station identification, so the commercials had to be lightning-fast — essentially, eight seconds for the commercial pitch and a two-second shot of the product.
From 1957 to 1961, Henson made 179 commercials for Wilkins Coffee and other Wilkins products, including Community Coffee and Wilkins Tea. The ads were so successful and well-liked that they sparked a series of remakes for companies in other local markets throughout the 1960s.